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The Basic equation for improvement:

Adaptation = Overload + Recovery.

Focus on maintaining and improving each of these qualities in some way and have a way to assess where you are on each in some fashion and you will progress. Speed of progression is nowhere near as important as direction.

Trendline is everything. There is no standing still. You are either going backward or forward.

Eventually, at some point, going backward slowly will count as progress 🙂

Take note that RECOVERY is an equal part of the equation.One will only ignore that for a very limited time before reality smacks them in the head.

All one needs to take control of their body and get as strong, fast, enduring and agile as they can. Train what’s weakest first and most often and then the next in line and so on.

Train what’s strongest at the end as whatever is naturally strong takes the least amount of work to maintain or improve.

Aim to be aware, and to stop this process of searching for the reason for meaning, or for the intent. Just drop it…realise it is there, it is ongoing, driving the behaviour, and just drop it. Learn to keep dropping it, just gently drop yourself back in every time it happens, and it will begin to come naturally.

Learn a task to perfection, and you cease thinking about it. Meditation in this case is a route to understanding a common thread through all disciplines and endeavours since it conditions the awareness that nothingness is inherent throughout, all share that same nothingness, as how can there be separation of nothing? nothing is indivisable – try it on a calculator, science concurs – posing the question using logic just repeats the same answer.

And if logic fails? Use another tool. Synaptic flow patterns take form and coalesce in vapour, travelling through air, hitting mirror neurons that take on the underlying intent of mind – communication. That intent of the mind – if it is cognisant of no difference between itself and another, more than that, no separate existence, no question of time, space, degree, motive or ANYTHING, but sharing the same underlying nature, what happens then?

Conceptual experience is predicated upon facts and justifications which change with each lived moment. give it up, there is no answer, just observe what’s happening in the present moment.

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old mistakes

I never felt any pressure when I was doing what I loved. I was busy, stressed, scatterbrained and desperately trying to hold myself together, but there was a pure vein of joy running through everything I did. I would put it off until the last minute, vacillating until with the sheer weight on my shoulders it was all I could do to feed myself and occasionally get a good night’s sleep. Going outside was quite a victory.

All the stress and pressure I heaped on myself, I managed to convince myself it was from outside myself, it was the expectations from myself, it was my upbringing, problems from the past, expectations from the future. I was experiencing this all so vividly, it never occurred I was fabricating it all for myself. I convinced myself it would be worth it (whilst secretly fearing the reverse), and I convinced myself there was a finite supply, that I was working my way through it all and that there would be an end to it (whilst secretly knowing the opposite).

I could feel this down to every pore, cringing and curled in on myself – holding myself alone because I felt so repugnant and horrible, being with other people who could see this terrified me. Some could, some couldn’t, but it influenced all my social interactions – my mission was to leave this all, to enjoy myself. I’ll always feel blessed that my very best friends gave me this freedom, even though it would be short lived – I’d return home on a high, make plans, maybe even do some of them the next day, but then the rot would set in again, and before too long I’d find myself hunched over, recriminating with myself for being so fucking useless, unable to lift a finger to help myself, to do any of the tasks I could easily see infront of me, easily within my capabilities.

Days, weeks and slow years – brilliant times in them, relationships, friends and accomplishments, but all coming back to myself, alone, trying to escape myself and feeling the anguish and all the torment I was capable of. Back time and time again, convincing myself this was as bad as it would get, that plumbing this extreme would eventually yield me the other.

What a load of bullshit. There was no purpose to it, to hard-won victory, nothing gained and the loss? If I catalogued all the opportunities sundered I’d be back where I was. Best not to think about until I’m firmly somewhere else and all my neurons are kicking ass for me again.